TO BE… 

I viewed you as a Rogue-dishonest and worthless. 

I never knew you for who you were, and I despised you for that. 

You were supposed to play The role in my life, but your presence always faded in and out like an inconspicuous creature.

I always knew you were there, but, yet, you chose to be unseen.

You left me to my own found devices.

Hiding and suppressing underwater became the new dexterity.

How could you let it come to this. 

It is all your fault, they’ve told you. 

You know that boys don’t cry. 

Be a man they said and just walk it off. 

Perfection is the lasting objective. 

The love received came with a rule book, with the sense of shame always lingering in the background.

The crocodile was not allowed the crocodile tears.

My truth is, I have stealthily adored you from a distance.

Today I choose to confront you and look into your eyes.

Inflicting pain on the most precious is no more.

Remedy has become the new calling.

Now I see my truth beneath those old lies.

He is I, and I am him.

(To be a man; To be masculine; To be me)